Married or not… you should read this.

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

 

Adapted from http://avmediastudio.com/blog/married-or-not-you-should-read-this/

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I am Thankful:

I Am Thankful:

for my shadow that watches me work 
because it means 
I am out in the sunshine

for the taxes i pay 
because it means 
I am employed. 

for the mess to clean after a party 
because it means i have 
been surrounded by friends. 

for the clothes that fit a little too snug 
because it means 
I have enough to eat. 

For a lawn that needs mowing,
windows that need cleaning, 
and gutters that need fixing 
because it means i have a home. 

For all the complaining 
i hear about the government 
because it means 
we have freedom of speech.. 

For the parking spot 
I find at the far end of the parking lot 
because it means i am capable of walking 
and i have been blessed with transportation. 

For my huge heating bill 
because it means 
I am warm. 

For the lady behind me in church 
who sings off key because it means 
I can hear. 

For the pile of laundry and ironing 
because it means 
I have clothes to wear. 

For weariness and aching muscles 
at the end of the day 
because it means i have been 
capable of working hard. 

For the alarm that goes off 
in the early morning hours 
because it means i am alive.

Aren’t  I blessed!

I  do not know why the link has refused to copy but id like you to know im not the original scribe of this post. 😛 

Have yourselves a lovely weekend.

A look at some of the stupidest travel complaints.

“We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish.”

Thomas Cook has come out with a list of some of the dumbest travel complaints you’ll ever hear.

The complaints are real; they’re from actual dissatisfied customers, like the one who says his holiday to India was ruined because almost every restaurant served curry and he doesn’t like spicy food.

It’s enough to drive a travel agent nuts.

“We get a lot of complaints about things that are completely outside of our control,” says Wendy Lanphear withTravel Best Bets. “I got a call the other day, complaining about ticks in the jungle of Puerto Vallarta. This woman was irate because the agent didn’t warn her.”

Her advice? “Any sort of mishap, you’ll just have to pack your patience and remember you’re on holidays. It’s supposed to be fun and enjoyable.”

“Really, [we’re] just a sounding board. People are upset; they just need to sort of vent,” adds Lanphear.

Other complaints:

“I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.”

“It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallarta to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during ‘siesta’ time — this should be banned.”

“We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price.”

“We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow.”

“They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax.”

“Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers.”

“No one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared.”

“I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes.”

“It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair.”

“The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun.”

“I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends’ three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller.”

“The brochure stated: ‘No hairdressers at the resort.’ We’re trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service.”

“There were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners.”

“We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning.”

“It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.”

“My fiance and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.”

 http://www.news1130.com/2013/11/21/a-look-at-the-stupidest-travel-complaints/

THIS IS INTERESTING. AFTER READING THIS, YOU’LL NEVER LOOK AT A BANANA IN THE SAME WAY AGAIN.

 

ImageImageBananas contain three natural sugars – sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber. A banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy.

 
Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world’s leading athletes.
 
But energy isn’t the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.
 
DEPRESSION
 
According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier.
 
PMS: Forget the pills – eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.
 
ANEMIA
 
High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of hemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.
 
BLOOD PRESSURE
 
This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it perfect to beat blood pressure So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit’s ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.
 
BRAIN POWER
 
200 students at a Twickenham school ( England ) were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.
 
CONSTIPATION
 
High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.
 
HANGOVERS
 
One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.
 
HEARTBURN
 
Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.
 
MORNING SICKNESS
 
Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.
 
MOSQUITO BITES
 
Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.
 
NERVES 
 
Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system..
 
Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and chips. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.
 
ULCERS
 
The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chroniclercases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.
 
TEMPERATURE CONTROL
 
Many other cultures see bananas as a ‘cooling’ fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand , for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature. So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has FOUR TIMES the protein, TWICE the carbohydrate, THREE TIMES the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals.. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around.
 
So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, ‘A BANANA a day keeps the doctor away!’

 

21 Habits of Happy People!

“Happiness is a habit – cultivate it.” ~ Elbert Hubbard Happiness is one aspiration all people share. No one wants to be sad and depressed.

We’ve all seen people who are always happy – even amidst agonizing life trials. I’m not saying happy people don’t feel grief, sorrow or sadness; they just don’t let it overtake their life.Image

The following are 21 things happy people make a habit of doing:

1. Appreciate Life

Be thankful that you woke up alive each morning. Develop a childlike sense of wonder towards life. Focus on the beauty of every living thing. Make the most of each day. Don’t take anything for granted. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

2. Choose Friends Wisely

Surround yourself with happy, positive people who share your values and goals. Friends that have the same ethics as you will encourage you to achieve your dreams. They help you to feel good about yourself. They are there to lend a helping hand when needed.

3. Be Considerate

Accept others for who they are as well as where they are in life. Respect them for who they are. Touch them with a kind and generous spirit. Help when you are able, without trying to change the other person. Try to brighten the day of everyone you come into contact with.

4. Learn Continuously

Keep up to date with the latest news regarding your career and hobbies. Try new and daring things that has sparked your interest – such as dancing, skiing, surfing or sky-diving.

5. Creative Problem Solving

Don’t wallow in self-pity. As soon as you face a challenge get busy finding a solution. Don’t let the set backs affect your mood, instead see each new obstacle you face as an opportunity to make a positive change. Learn to trust your gut instincts – it’s almost always right.

6. Do What They Love

Some statistics show that 80% of people dislike their jobs! No wonder there’s so many unhappy people running around. We spend a great deal of our life working. Choose a career that you enjoy – the extra money of a job you detest isn’t worth it. Make time to enjoy your hobbies and pursue special interests.

7. Enjoy Life

Take the time to see the beauty around you. There’s more to life than work. Take time to smell the roses, watch a sunset or sunrise with a loved one, take a walk along the seashore, hike in the woods etc. Learn to live in the present moment and cherish it. Don’t live in the past or the future.

8. Laugh

Don’t take yourself – or life to seriously. You can find humor in just about any situation. Laugh at yourself – no one’s perfect. When appropriate laugh and make light of the circumstances. (Naturally there are times that you should be serious as it would be improper to laugh.)

9. Forgive

Holding a grudge will hurt no one but you. Forgive others for your own peace of mind. When you make a mistake – own up to it – learn from it – and FORGIVE yourself.

10. Gratitude

Develop an attitude of gratitude. Count your blessings; All of them – even the things that seem trivial. Be grateful for your home, your work and most importantly your family and friends. Take the time to tell them that you are happy they are in your life.

11. Invest in Relationships

Always make sure your loved ones know you love them even in times of conflict. Nurture and grow your relationships with your family and friends by making the time to spend with them. Don’t break your promises to them. Be supportive.

12. Keep Their Word

Honesty is the best policy. Every action and decision you make should be based on honesty. Be honest with yourself and with your loved ones.

13. Meditate

Meditation gives your very active brain a rest. When it’s rested you will have more energy and function at a higher level. Types of meditation include yoga, hypnosis, relaxation tapes, affirmations, visualization or just sitting in complete silence. Find something you enjoy and make the time to practice daily.

14. Mind Their Own Business

Concentrate on creating your life the way you want it. Take care of you and your family. Don’t get overly concerned with what other people are doing or saying. Don’t get caught up with gossip or name calling. Don’t judge. Everyone has a right to live their own life the way they want to – including you.

15. Optimism

See the glass as half full. Find the positive side of any given situation. It’s there – even though it may be hard to find. Know that everything happens for a reason, even though you may never know what the reason is. Steer clear of negative thoughts. If a negative thought creeps in – replace it with a positive thought.

16. Love Unconditionally

Accept others for who they are. You don’t put limitations on your love. Even though you may not always like the actions of your loved ones – you continue to love them.

17. Persistence

Never give up. Face each new challenge with the attitude that it will bring you one step closer to your goal. You will never fail, as long as you never give up. Focus on what you want, learn the required skills, make a plan to succeed and take action. We are always happiest while pursuing something of value to us.

18. Be Proactive

Accept what can not be changed. Happy people don’t waste energy on circumstances beyond their control. Accept your limitations as a human being. Determine how you can take control by creating the outcome you desire – rather than waiting to respond.

19. Self Care

Take care of your mind, body and health. Get regular medical check ups. Eat healthy and work out. Get plenty of rest. Drink lots of water. Exercise your mind by continually energizing it with interesting and exciting challenges.

20. Self Confidence

Don’t try to be someone that you’re not. After all no one likes a phony. Determine who you are in the inside – your own personal likes and dislikes. Be confident in who you are. Do the best you can and don’t second guess yourself.

21. Take Responsibility

Happy people know and understand that they are 100% responsible for their life. They take responsibility for their moods, attitude, thoughts, feelings, actions and words. They are the first to admit when they’ve made a mistake. Begin today by taking responsibility for your happiness. Work on developing these habits as you own. The more you incorporate the above habits into your daily lifestyle – the happier you will be. Most of all: BE TRUE TO YOURSELF.

Source: http://www.mindopenerz.com

STYLING A SHIFT DRESS

 Day to Play

There is much more to wearing clothes than just covering up, trust me, ask any woman who knows her stuff well and possibly a shopaholic. Isn’t that the excuse we all give when buying things we think we need but we just want the satisfaction of owning it?
At times you have to attend a function immediately after work and you don’t have the time to change into something less serious, or if you are like me, you’d rather die than carry clothes to change into; here is a trick you can work with.
First and foremost, when planning to attend to two things in a day you have to be careful when choosing your days outfit. For instance you cannot wear a business suit to a casual date and expect anyone to let loose around you. Try something like a knee-length shift dress with less than three colors (preferably one color) as it will be easy to fall into place with both activities.
For work, you can always throw on a nicely cut jacket of even tone that goes well with the dress, a loosely tied slim belt, studs and a simple necklace. If you do make up, ensure that you do some light make up fit for the day and not something that screams “I have a date tonight”. You need shoes that can work for both day and night so you don’t have to carry another pair in your bag. Try flat shoes if your job involves a lot of running around and comfortable pair of heels will do if you don’t.

          
The transforming part is the interesting one.  Lose the studs and the inconspicuous necklace. You can do different looks depending on what you fancy and the occasion. Add a chunky colourful neck-piece and a matching bangle for a sassy-gone-rocker look. Coloured hoops can work or draping earrings if you may. Complete your look with a statement cocktail ring. If you are in love with ethnic pieces like I am, you can do draping metallic earrings and Aztec print metallic bangle. To spice up the look you can do an ethnic knuckle ring and another on the other hand.  If it feels like too much, feel free to lose one and avoid looking ratchet altogether. For the elegant but laid-back-lady add a pair of loops, a draping necklace and a cocktail ring to avoid looking like plain-Jane when you’ve given it your all.
                                         Strip your face of the stale make-up to apply a fresh look as desired. When it comes to your hair lose the clip and flip it. If it’s warm enough and you can handle the temperatures you can lose the coat as well too.  Knowing your style involves knowing what blends your skin colour and what goes well with most outfits.
Styling up an outfit or defining your style as a woman shouldn’t be rocket science but getting the right accessory that goes with hair colour, nail polish and the detail on your jeans is a little bit close to launching a missile and people will judge you by that.

 ”A KENYAN SOMEWHERE MUST HAVE KNOWN THIS WAS COMING!!! I am sure that there is a Kenyan somewhere who knew that this was going to happen and just kept quiet. I am talking of the Kenyans at the Immigration department who in one way or another allow aliens into the country by granting them IDs and passports after receiving a bribe, am talking of the greedy Kenyans at our boarders who provide safe passage to aliens after being compromised, am talking of a greedy taxi driver who may have driven the terrorists into the Mall and kept quiet because they paid him well, I am talking of that Car Hire company that may have hired out their vehicle for this purpose just because the money was very tempting, I am talking of the Kenyans who may have hosted these terrorists for the period they were planning this horrendous act, I am talking of the Kenyans who sold them or hired out their mobile phones for this purpose.

I am talking of that greedy police officer at the boarder who may have been bribed to look the other way and allow deadly weapons into the country, I am talking of that neighbor who may have overheard the planning of this terrorist attack and turned the other side. I am talking of the selfish and greedy Kenyans who allow drug traffickers to operate in our country for personal gains, am talking of those greedy policemen and women and the so called provincial administrators who arm and protect cattle rustlers in the Rift Valley to raid other communities in order to get cattle for sale locally or for export, just for their own aggrandizement.

If for sure you are a Kenyan and played a part in this, however small it may be, and is watching the mayhem, the pain, the suffering that innocent children, women and everyone else has been subjected to, then you need to search deep inside your heart and evaluate why you really live in this country. If this does not weigh on your conscience, then I have no other word for you other than to say that YOU ARE A DEVIL!

I am sure that this would not have happened if a Kenyan did not accept to be compromised with money to allow these gunmen into the country, provided them with guns, grenades, allowed the safe passage of these deadly weapons into our country and hosted them for the period they have been here. The sad this is that Kenyan somewhere played a part in this just for greed!!!

It pains that Kenyans have thrown their patriotism to the dogs for mere greed!!!”

Edwin Kemboi on daily nation online