A sprout too late.

The excitement, expectation and speculation surrounding the coming of big brother Obeezy has me thinking how ready was the government for this grand visit? Years of anticipation of his visit since his first term in office and boycotted him for a while when he visited Tanzania and snubbed his “homeland”.image

It could be a little of tradition everywhere especially in Africa where people polish up their surroundings when an important visitor is expected. People even wear their best. It’s quite normal. This one time my mother was visiting at my SQ and I put in all the work I could to prepare for her visit. On that weekend I moved everything and cleaned every corner including removing nonexistent cobwebs & wiping off imaginary dust. My sufurias had to be scrubbed and all utensils cleaned as soon as they were used. I was almost nervous. My house was already clean but I did not want to look like I had failed her as a mother and OCDlette. Including folding my clothes and ensuring the laundry basket was empty.

The moment she walked in and approved I was ecstatic. Even if she hadn’t approved, I would’ve patted my back and bought myself a couple bars of white chocolate as a reward. What made all this possible is the fact that I did not have to bring a wall down and build another then paint it in such short notice. All that was realistic within the allocated time.

As a government, someone should’ve confirmed the coming of Obama at least three months or so ago. They only had one job. They should also have laid out plans to have the city beautified long before this unnecessary mess they are suddenly making us look like. Also because as residents of this country we do not deserve a generally beautiful city yet people cough up taxes from their meager salaries and it goes into private projects of a few greedy persons with the notion of owning Kenya.I hope we will get to a point where all these things can be done in black and white by selfless, educated leaders who have the interest of the future of Kenya at heart.


I am not certain who exactly is in charge of the physical preparation of the highways and what not but I will go with Mr.Governor and team. Friend knew the bro was gonna drop these sides but what did he do? Cross the road to Kempinski because his siren wasn’t working that day. Otherwise the thing would go off and everyone would give way because it is what it is. We elect arrogant people who end up failing us butt up. For the remaining part of his term he is more than delighted and determined to bring Nairobi to its knees.

Nairobi is hosting the Global Entrepreneurship Summit not African or East African, Global. Meaning not only Obama is going to be in the country but also investors. Tonnes of Investors with top dollar to invest at that. But what do our highways look like? An unfinished and shaddy mess. That’s what we look like from outside in. Reason being someone waited until two weeks too late. Too bad nature couldn’t be bribed to let the grass grow to required level.image

As if on cue, Mr.Governor was trending today on Twitter. Just the props I needed to spice the rather dull piece sitting in my drafts. Follow the conversation on twitter with the hashtag #KideroGrass #kiderograssWithAromat Kenyans sense of humor is beyond situation irony though.


If only these people we elect could have Nairobi as beautiful as they had visualized it at first then we probably look presentable and serious. I hope whoever is in charge takes the lesson and keeps Nairobi and Kenya as beautiful at all times and takes care of all roads with the same keenness and urgency we pay taxes. I hope the plan to beautify and maintain the country will be a long-term one and keeping the streets clear of street families.


Closer To Lupita

Lupita in Kenya photo from nyumbanitv.com

Lupita in Kenya photo from nyumbanitv.com

I finally went natural. Two and a half weeks ago. I cut all the treated hair myself waits for you to finish clapping. To my surprise, the natural hair beneath the treated one was healthier, thicker and curlier than I expected. And I loved it more than I thought I should have. I even mentioned to a friend that it would have been a new found addiction.
My barber * I’m not sure I will get used to this* told me I looked a lot like Lupita. I shrugged it off thinking he probably tells that to every other girl he gives a cut * does that even make sense*. When ten people, yes I counted –I don’t receive torrential compliments every other day; IN A DAY tell you the same thing you might start to believe it. I even thought of being her doppelganger. I basked in the glory and I just thought to myself that was the closest I would get to Lupita anyway.
A friend asked me to go pick up her invitation to the afternoon with Lupita as she spoke rather had a conversation about the arts in education. It was close by to where I would run errands so I said yes. (What are friends for?) This was the closest I could get to Lupita yet she was in the country, in town.
I have never envied a doorman, valet or a waitress at Kempinski as much as I did then. Thinking someone had been specifically assigned to her room service since she had snuck into the country earlier (clever girl that one) than her expected arrival on Monday. A photographer I know had taken a photo of her under heavy guard and disguise. But they were arrested and forced to delete the photo. I will have to interview him some other day so that he narrates to me the juicy ordeal. That’s some blockbuster drama right there.
However, what wouldn’t I have done for a selfie with the first Kenyan to receive an Oscar though? I’d have been fired already anyway if I worked there. I couldn’t have contained the excitement of being less than a foot away maybe even having a conversation. The closest I would get to Lupita. I dreamt it a few times I have to admit, probably that way her awesomeness could rub off. Or the success even. Considering she is born in March, is a Pisces and she pretty much has had her fair share of eccentricity as I have, the closest I ever got to Lupita.
I finished my errands and went to pick the ticket at the GoDown art centre which has a beautiful massive street art mural at the wall of my girl Lu. Bank-slave is such a genius though. That was beyond any of the well thought caricatures and artworks I have ever seen. #BloggerThumbsUp anyone remembers #twitterbigstick, but let’s carry on. As I was waiting for the list to be fished out, I asked if I could get an invite or if it was too late. Long story short, I got the invite and I was getting closer to Lupita.

BankSlave's Mural Photo from Businessdailyafrica.com

BankSlave’s Mural Photo from Businessdailyafrica.com

On the day of the event, I got into the amphitheater at KICC and it was already ‘full’. I mean everyone had saved seats for their fifteen friends trooping in when the event is already over. SMH* anyway, I kept moving from chair to chair until I sat so close to where she would seat. It was refreshing. I felt important for a while and felt sorry for those who wouldn’t let me have a seat. evil laugh
Her father walked in casually and nobody moved a muscle, as if he was some stranger who walked in after withdrawing some m-pesa downstairs. No waggling tongues or craned necks yet he is the one who paid all that school fees. Not even a selfie. Sigh* such is life.
Then she walked in, with all the poise and grace she got from Rusinga School to Yale! She looked like a queen in her own right and everyone stood up clapping without even being asked to. She truly earned the standing ovation. So funny that ever since her Patsy role a year ago, we still are in awe of all the accolades she bagged and still is bagging.
We clapped on a minute too long and she stood there in the middle like she does on the red-carpet taking it all in. no phone in hand to fondle with or purse to awkwardly clutch to as everyone in the room claps and claps and claps until you are like “ that’s enough claps for another 3 years.”
See, her sitting space was just next to mine only separated by a fleet of stairs on both sides and I kept praying she would use the one’s next to me so that I would have gotten very close to Lupita but she didn’t. When she was done with her speech and answering Q&A’s, the MC denied us all selfie requests but I saw Peter the brother, serial selfie crasher. I shamelessly walked up to him and asked for a selfie; which he warmly agreed to. That was the closest I got to Lupita for now. Until she presents me my Oscar a few years from now, then I can stop her and be like “come here girl, this selfie has been a long time coming”. Or even work on the same set. Who knows? But my dreams are valid, aye?