For the longest time.

I would have said I remember this like yesterday but I would be lying. I don’t remember the day my first post went live. I just remember being the first and only blogger in my class for the longest time. Even in my school. People were either unbothered or ignorant. I was okay with that.

this far post

For the longest time it was a conversation reviver at least from my point of view but the conversation died as soon as someone would ask what I blog about. I’d want to hang my head in shame but instead I put on a bravado shrug reluctantly saying “anything and everything; that’s why it’s titled Anything Goes under the URL” If they are the disinterested people, they will reply with a definite, “ooh” so you wouldn’t say a word after.

Other’s would prod you and actually challenge you with criticism that makes sense. Most people I spoke to told me to find a niche. Heck, I also wanted to fit into an award category. They don’t have the “Other’s” category so I started looking. Thinking I would just trip and find a niche when I lie face flat on the ground, or open my door in the morning and receive a package with a note “Herein lies your blog niche, use it to your advantage.” Honestly, I don’t like (a) crowded anything.

There’s 7 billion people and if the Chinese start giving birth to more than one child that will be 8 billion, sooner or later. If I wanted a less crowded place I’d have my own planet, but I don’t. So I will strive to find a niche somewhere in this crowd; for a long time. A time so long I look up to find that my blog just turned 5. That’s a big deal. To me.

I am a Journalist by profession. At the beginning of my career my editor kept throwing me into the deep end of assignments and giving me no choice but to swim to the deadline, alive. The newsroom is not my blog. As I swim towards deadlines, I look for niche ideas and scribble them in a fancy Kenya Power notebook I borrowed from my sisters’ trunk because I would later buy my niece an exercise book and cut it into half if she insisted on doodling as she is belted in her car-seat. Forgetting we are definitely not in the 90’s.

I scribble some more in class, in traffic, in those meetings that could have been an email, a phone-call or even a Skype call. Notes I will not look at because every day I have new ideas left right and center. I look at the remaining very few pages of the book and wonder if I will ever find the time to put these grand ideas into life. I take a break from everything and sit at my desk. I have to do this today, I say to myself but deep down I know it is the discipline habit I am trying to cultivate.

I pick my phone to reply to a few messages and return a call. It’s almost dusk. A thousand notifications, Instagram scrolling, Pinterest lurks and screenshots later, the time is half past 9. This is how people die with their brilliant dreams, they don’t just crop up at their deathbeds. Because for the longest time we never boss up and actually do something that draws us closer to the actualization of the dream.

One day I loaded my Nakumatt card and bought my self-hosted domain. It is what I had wanted for the longest time. Finally, I was making progress and I thought this would push me to implement my ideas, but thought block sits at your shoulder. As you stare at the blank screen you wonder wut r werds!!!! I kept seeking perfection and a fresh start but later on thought to myself I should just migrate the old posts and keep the ball rolling.

And it dawns on me, opportunity dances with those already on the dance floor. I have been dancing for 5 years now with very long undeserved breaks in between. I will do what I have waited so long to do, share with you anything share-worthy then we will find a niche as we move along because for now, what is perfection? As Njenga Kahiro put it “Life happens at the pace of life.”

4 thoughts on “For the longest time.

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