These Leaping words.

The second month of the year is over and I am wondering where the time has gone because just yesterday, January: we were complaining of how the month just won’t come to an end. We have 366 days this year, what did you do with your extra 24 hours? I had different plans. The way my day is set up, I don’t have the luxury of going to leap, literally. Neither does my height phobia allow.Yet.

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This month has rushed by for me because I had my hands in a million things. I feel lighter with this last page of this chapter. Through it all, a few things have become clear. And that’s fine because going forward I might be familiar and prepared. Hopefully.

The next 29th of February will be in 2020, I know you know how to count, so I thought I might as well have my words leap. As tribute. Catch up on the other three posts.  Read more about Songoma, the freshest boy band in Kenya at the moment. Some of my loco friends shared a list of things women want and we had a brief back and forth so I thought I could narrow it down for them and anyone else who might be clueless. Lastly, as 2015 was coming to an end, Google had a list of the most searched information in different categories, find out what I picked to expound on.

Also my device has been having problems, I could come up with a draft post on my word document and it just disappears when I run out of charge. One time, Word wouldn’t activate at all so allllll the unsaved drafts I had in my history went with the wind. The juices don’t come that often either. I found a temporary solution because my geek friend is that badass.

Now, the thing is that I could be typing my bent thoughts because the juices are flooding then the system just freezes, like Rango.  Forcing me to act sane for a couple of minutes until it comes back or restarts itself. This is the most annoying part in technology but In all this I have learnt to be a patient person. I have been told it is a windows 10 thing? Is there anyone else having the same problem?

In other news, I have not in particular admitted to being overwhelmed or busy but instead as lazy or horrible at time management. Then I try to make the most of what I have because this might be a familiar cycle, complaining how time drags itself at the beginning then complaining how fast time has flown. We might not realize it but complaining has become such second nature that we are even eager to complain. Don’t believe me?

This is how  exchange pleasantries lately.

A: Hey, how are you doing?

B: I’m good, I can’t complain. You?

Sound’s familiar, aye? That used to be my response as well, up until I decided to be conscious about it. Maybe the reason we have lots to complain about is because we attract them with our words, mannerisms and whole being that they subconsciously become second nature and slide into our pleasantries.

For a while I used to ask in return, “are you always looking to complain?” with a smile so I don’t sound like a meanie. I could get blank faces in return. I guess it either made them uncomfortable or they just didn’t understand. I decided otherwise. I choose not to shove my energies into people’s lives. Let them call whatever they want to call into their lives.

Because we always look for reasons to celebrate, Happy leap year.😉

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What women want.

Fantasies might be far-fetched but they are existing realities as well: especially those that women have of the ideal man. All those movies we have watched and the overly dreamy novels we have cozied up to read made us have the slight shred of hope.

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A man who opens doors is just as sexy, letting the lady go first will never ever go out of style. We squeeze into clothes and other things, doors should not be one of those. Let ladies in first, this will never go out of style. The bonus is that you get to check us out. The only time you should go first is if there’s danger. Then you can go first and cover us from whatever it is.

Date a woman, take her out on an actual date. It is called dating for a reason. Make plans and go out to a quiet place, get to know her. There is something about serene environments and looking into each others eyes that makes human susceptible to opening up. Dinners, breakfasts, lunch, the works. There are very many options to fit different budgets. So no, we are not asking for the 5.4 million night, we are a little grounded than that. But if you can afford it without your bank account squirming, why not?

Non-verbal cues will earn you a lot more than you expect. Look into her eyes when speaking with her, and actually listen to what they are saying. Random compliments will unlock doors you never knew existed. Especially when we are sort of mad or in a bad mood. Remember Ne-yo’s when you’re mad? Or mid conversation,maybe when we don’t even know you are looking. Just make sure you are confident about it and don’t be weird. Do your research.

Gift us thoughtfully for no apparent reason. It is not my birthday, I haven’t received a promotion, it is not valentines neither is it our anniversary, yet. But I have stared at a painting too long at the gallery, you have seen my eyes sparkle when I set eyes on those shoes, I have spoken about a particular book a few times. Sometimes it is code for “read between the lines” but at times we have bookmarked it somewhere in our minds and hope to get it another day. Confectionery, clothes, accessories, the list can’t be exhausted. Master the art of gifting.

A woman would want to look good for you if you are worth it. Glam tight dress, sky high heels, make-up and all. There is a very high chance that if I am going to take public transport I will not put as much effort for one reason or another. After a few pleasant dates, go pick up your woman from home and drop her back. unless she does not want you to. If you cannot pick her up, ask her to take a cab and pay for it. This is for those who are cut for the extra mile. Go figure.

Public display of affection is a winner. Leave your caveman days with your grandparents and hold your girls hand in public. If you are looking for a way to mark your territory and show her off at the same time holding hands is your answer. In doing so, you communicate in ways words cannot and we are experts at that, actually we are born to read in between those lines. Now go ahead and write them lines.

When you have crossed the line to get to visit each others home’s do things together as opposed to waiting for the other to do things for you. For instance making meals together. You might not be the ultimate chef but you can clean a plate and hand over a mortar from the top shelf. Make yourself useful, be more.

When you are on the other side, living together legally or not, offer massages and make sure you know how to give them. If you are a massage rookie, foot massages will be a good place to start. Know where to rub, in what motions and the intensity. You are not harvesting tea leaves so be gentle but firm with us.

Women’s fantasies are intertwined and run into each other, we appreciate them all and crave for more.Cuddling, warm hugs, shoulder’s to lean on on bad days, we want it all and we know you are capable. Just google, read a book, ask, rid the world of sulk one fantasy at a time.

2015 year in Review: The interwebs

Just because you are using the incognito window to access the internet doesn’t mean you can hide. You might be safe from your ever micro-managing boss and your nosy girlfriend but Google analytics is the ultimate internet lie detector whether you clean up your browsing history as much as you breathe or burn the computer anyway.

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From the look of things, the men have had a field day with the girl’s right from the beginning of getting the girl only up to engaging. The missing piece of the puzzle for the girls stays on how to make him stay.

  1. How to date a girl: It is pretty obvious it is the men that look this up. It might be the girls that are doing the research to hint to their boyfriends who do not have a shred of intuition neither are they mind readers. This is a dance around the same bush of investing time and effort in the right person. Begin with friendship and don’t bombard her with too much too soon and make it clear through your actions that you want more than getting into her pants.

  2. How to use a condom: Thank goodness people use condoms to begin with or at least they want to know how to. Maybe it is the teenagers looking this one up after Uhuru decided to make condoms available to them. Or perhaps it was someone standing by Waiguru’s condom dispenser at her office. Who knows, people want to stay safe and hopefully the number of unwanted pregnancies has gone down this year.

  3. How to get a girlfriend: The world can be sad and lonely at times, you walk around and all you see are happy couples and sadder singles than Mona Lisa’s portrait. With the cold season closely followed by the harsh el-nino rains, someone surely longed for some company. It all boils down to the kind of woman you would like to date, and where you are likely to meet her. Be open and have fun with the chase.

  4. How to increase fertility: This one is a mystery to me and a cloudy mist hanging around it. I will not quack my way around this but I hope you  become more fertile, all the best in cultivating it.

  5. How to start a conversation with a girl: Girls might have problems but it think this one is hardest for the boys. If you are across the room, smile. If she smiles back there is your cue. Start with introductions, likes and dislikes. Be careful not to ask too much she might mistake you for a serial killer. If you have her number, call her and ask to see her. Take her out on a date. Don’t just whatsapp her for a week then ask her to move in!!

  6. How to tell a girl you love her: It warms my heart to know that some boy somewhere loved a girl but didn’t know how to tell her. Honestly though, it is not entirely rocket science. Just tell her you love her and you would like for her to be your girlfriend. Or the other way round.

  7. How to impress a girl: Too sad if she doesn’t speak with you yet, then this is definitely going to be a game of chess. You can’t buy her anything because you just might freak her out. If you talk, you better be nurturing your art of reading minds. Listen to the things she hints about when you are together and what she marvels at. Pick things from your conversations. Her eyes will glow whenever she talks about some things and right there is your answer.

  8. How to talk to a girl: I am glad someone took time to look this up because with the rude approach men take these days, I would be sure to tell you the dating scene is going down the spiral towards a horrendous mess. Be polite, listen, and show interest in knowing more about her without being a dumb bloke!!!

  9. How to flirt: There is a thin line between flirting, cockiness and utter nonsense. Don’t be the idiot skipping double dutch with them. You could easily have yourself going back to the drawing board which could be the Google tab for you or a few book marks.

  10. How to make him fall in love with you: If you know anything about love then you know what chemistry is about and no, it is not a mixture made in the lab. It comes naturally. He either loves you or he doesn’t. Love doesn’t sit on the fence. He can’t be tricked or blackmailed into it either.

I am hoping this year more people fall head over heels in love with each other and hopefully get engaged at a scenic venue at sunrise and live happily ever after.

#MusicMonday: Introducing Songoma

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Motorbikes better known as “nduthis” have become a significant form of alternative transport in Nairobi so why not make a song about them? The freshest afro-pop boy band in Kenya released quite the relatable next door kind of love story jam.

“We take pride in being the freshest band because we would like to believe that we have come up with a style that hasn’t been explored before. We are three different individuals with unique styles and merged them to come up with Songoma Music.”

The individuals come from different backgrounds and therefore their music is made up of a mixture of languages including English, Swahili, Kirundi and French. This they say is what sets them apart as well. With that, they do not lean towards any particular genre but allow themselves to explore without limits.

Inspired by a real life event, Party kwa nduthi is all about enjoying life’s simple pleasure’s with your favorite person. “You could go to a very fancy place but you are not comfortable, and there are times when you are not at the fanciest of places but the company makes every minute worth it,” they all agree.

From their presentation, you can tell they get along together quite well and are close. The trio met at Sauti Academy; A music school run by Penya Africa, class of 2012. Fess, Mwachari and Abishai albeit doing their solo projects came together in 2013 but they were on and off because of either one of them being unavailable for one reason or another.

Fess was on Tusker Project Fame, he won a recording deal which occupied most of his 2013. Mwachari was onto acting, jewel designing and worked on a couple of projects with Eric wainaina. Abishai worked in a studio, producing tracks including his own. They took it up in 2014 and hit the ground running.

They might appear to have been thrust into the limelight very suddenly but they are not new to showbiz. They started out doing shows together at weddings and events to push their name out there. Around the same time that Abishai was still working in a Studio, he invited Fess and Mwachari to go check the place out. They recorded their first own composition and have never looked back since then.

Produced by MG, the song did not take long to come to life. “We had a studio session but we were to record a different song. On the day before, Fess called to give a song idea. He had a chorus ready and I remember it was very catchy. On the day of the recording Abishai was already convinced that Party Kwa nduthi was a better song so they called me telling me to think of a verse.”

The song must have been written down by fate, even the producer agreed to “Party Kwa Nduthi” being a catchy one. The powerful guitars in the song were also rehearsed in the same day. Armed with their verses, the trio hit the notes right one take at a time and it all fell perfectly together. “We recorded it in a day, in an afternoon actually,” Mwachari attests.

The opening lyrics by Fess are actually the conversation they had with his then date from the phone call and on their way. They had agreed to meet up but the rains happened and they sought other plans. They used a bodaboda also known as “Nduthi” to get to the nearest shopping centre. With the increasing numbers of motorbikes there has been a crop of pimped out ones that have music, umbrellas to entice customers and offer better services. Mwachari and Abishai also re-encountered their experiences on motorbikes in the lyrics that make the song.

“Party kwa nduthi is available for download on Mdundo. We are hoping to release the video soon and a whole lot of shows lined up for us. We are performers and its what we love to do.”

Be sure to catch them as Songoma Music on their social media for more updates.

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An edited version of this article was published on Pulse magazine, a pullout in The Standard  on 12th Feb 2016.