Taking Stock 5


JD7A2657777Making: a tentative schedule that I am hoping to follow without feeling frustrated and wanting to pull out my hair. I am very easily bored with routine and when I do not have any I waste a lot of time, so in as much as striking a balance is a myth I am trying to see if I can do that.

Cooking: Lots of vegetables, I am trying out clean eating lately since it is the key to healthy living. It is important as young people to deliberately lead healthy lifestyles. There’s many lifestyle diseases and we should not make it a generational habit to eat dirt and whine at how clothes don’t fit anymore.

Drinking: Warm water. I have suffered withdrawal symptoms ever since I stopped taking coffee but it is worth it. I don’t have any cravings now and I do not think the coffee kept me awake or active, it is all in the head. I am just making a conscious effort to be active and be present.

Reading: A thousand splendid suns. I have only begun but I feel like this is going to be a great read. I am doing really good trying to go back on my reading culture, a book a month doesn’t sound so bad. I have read more books this year starting April and I am hoping this becomes a habit.

Wanting: To experiment with my hair. I’m thinking color but not something outrageous given that my melanin is already fleeking. So I do not want to look like an energizer battery neither do I want something that draws attention. You get my dilemma. Braids maybe? I don’t know. Any suggestions?
Looking: For inspiration to double up my energy and hone my skills. Have you seen what self-taught people are doing? From Yego to Laolu (@laolunyc)

Playing: Acappella tunes. How calming is this music? It is a church and yoga cocktail. My sister first introduced me to this music when she was in campus. Hush is my favorite song because it is in line with my feels.
Wasting: Opportunities. Sad but true. And wondering if this will ever feel any different. Am I the only one who feels horrible whenever an opportunity passes them because you might have thought that you was never good enough to go get it?


Enjoying: Solitude. There’s no better way to know yourself than being by yourself and enjoying that.
Waiting: for inspiration. Somebody slap me. In as much as I have found that waiting for inspiration is utter BS it is hard embarking on a self-discipline journey.
Liking: a lot of new music. I have opened myself to new music and I am loving the new sounds that I find. I shall be sharing with you soon.
Loving: My nephew Caelan. Well, he cries like a siren but I have been loving the little person since I felt him kick in his mother’s stomach. No one carries him except for his mother and the help. Unless he is sleeping that’s why I enjoy watching him sleep like a creep. And oh boy he does not sleep longer than 20 minutes. But he is still adorable. Very much so.
Marveling: At how patient I am with people who give me bullshit every time I give them another chance to prove themselves.
Needing: To get it together and chop these time-bandits off, without rebounding and backsliding.
Smelling: Mad about you lotion from Bath and Body works which I use as hand lotion now that my hands are not the most moisturized.

Wearing: Black kicks, black jeans, yellow bodysuit and a flowered bomber jacket. Athleisure all the way. When I look good I feel even better.

Noticing: That I need to take myself seriously.
Knowing: That I will eventually get through this.
Thinking: About how easy life can be when I choose to be present and do the right things at the right time.
Feeling: determined to conquer.
Bookmarking: Books that I stopped reading because a thousand splendid suns happened. I am a book polygamist. I was in the middle of Blackass which is currently too boring because the setting in my head is typically Nigerian. I dislike typical Nigerian films. The afro-sinema ones.
Opening: Myself up to new experiences and opportunities.

Giggling: at Falz (the bahd guy) short clips on YouTube and intro to his first album. This guy has  the first Nigerian comedy I have enjoyed.

Feeling: Stoked that I have seized the day today having ticked off a couple of stuff off my list today.





Love by any other deed.

Growing up in an African home, there are so many things that were made into silent rules. No one sits you down and reads a list of things not to do or what is required of you, you observe, learn and get in line.

Love by any other deed.


When I was little, below 5 years little, I would run up to my father when he got home and he would lift me high up and maybe carry me on his lap. Then I do not know what happened when but it changed. It always stops somewhere. Nobody told me to. I just stopped. I do not even remember the transition. Perhaps it is an unwritten tradition, but all traditions are not written, so we will go with it being a tradition. Decent hugs are only exchanged between same sex relatives and no matter how excited you are you just shake hands with the opposite sex. That’s how I found it and I am not questioning.

Through all this, people love each other. Deeply. Immensely. Through action. Sometimes banter, reproach, tough love but they still love you. That is the truth. The husbands hardly called their wives, wife; it was just “mama watoto” (Mother of my children) The generation that followed was a little bit different, people could be seen together, hugs were exchanged, hands were held even in public and flirty glances thrown around. The cold hearts were thawing and the love as is known to our generation.

Enter the generation we are currently riding in. I am no love doctor or relationship expert but our idea of love is pretty much all over the place. Updating relationship statuses, pictures taken together, tags, trips taken together and the whole romantic nine yard. As messed up as it is, this P.D.A generation has to be the closest to the epitome of romance that I have experienced in real life. It is a good thing.

Love in any other name is still love. Actions especially. A warm cup of tea/coffee, a home-made meal, thoughtful gifts, inside jokes, protecting each other, holding hands, Spending time alone together, apologizing, forgiving, trusting, supporting and encouraging each other for the better, communicating as much as possible, creating memories together, compromising fairly without being a yes button. I can only run out of breath but not out of the actions that portray love. Not everyone who uses the four letter word with you loves you, these days it is a pleasantry. Hi love, hey hun, babe this babe that. Rolls eyes


Some questions/statements mean much more than just conversation. Have you eaten? How was your day? Let me know when you get home. How was your night? You do not sound okay, would you like to talk? Are you okay? Are you feeling better? Have you seen a doctor? Stay right where you are, I am coming! I think you would look better in the other outfit (and goes on to explain why).

No two people can ever be the same, and no one is perfect. Men think differently and so do women, scratch that. Women and men are not wired the same. As unevenly yoked as we can be, love is a beautiful thing and everyone should experience it.