As days inch further from the 25th of December I sigh with relief as there will be an end to all that is Christmas. Everything from the trees, carols, obsession, irony and double standards that is tied with this day drives me up the wall. I started hating Christmas when I was very young and I have never felt the same about the holiday. Now more than ever I feel irritated whenever someone mentions anything to do with Christmas unless they are buying me a gift, of course.
Before you think how exhausting it is to be annoyed by little things, here are my seven main reasons why I hate the jolly season Christmas:
- Christmas Carols: Before all else, there is the music starting to play too early in November. Why do all these radio stations punish us with these songs? We do not have any affiliation with snow, mistletoes, we do not even have chimneys guys, until you start playing relatable carols especially those made by Africans then we need to stop. Although I do not care who makes those carols, as long as they stop, that will be the beginning of my sanity over this season.
- The birth of Jesus is not the reason: Jesus wasn’t born on 25th of December. Please show me a scripture that supports that. Yeah, I thought so. It is a pagan holiday and even churches still insist on tying the birth of Jesus to a pagan holiday set aside by Constantine trying to get rid of paganism and encourage Christianity. Whatever the need to modify the date and link it to the savior can we at least get things straight. But I do acknowledge the need of a holiday. If we had two of these long holidays that would be great.
- The forwarded Christmas messages: I agree that the Christmas card does not make sense but that does not mean we exhaust the share buttons by forwarding forwarded messages. First let me apologize to anyone who has ever received a forwarded message from me in the past. If you received a GIF from me this year it is because I was too annoyed to personalize anything and I just returned it so that I do not seem rude. Personalize. Make it short if you have to. If we haven’t spoken in months please forget that B.S. Thanks.
- Mass migration: I understand the rural urban migration for work and greener pastures and all to celebrate with the loved ones and make merry but I still don’t understand why people are always in a rush to go home or on vacation. Not everyone shares my sentiments but if you have a home in the urban area and you have not been evicted, why the fuss? The only people I could excuse are perhaps students who have to leave their hostels. The rest of us need to rethink the melee. It is unfortunate seeing tragic accidents because of a few motorists hurrying to make the most out of this. Although the bright side of all that is that the city remains empty and sane, it feels so good not to bump into people who won’t excuse themselves or apologize. And thankfully those drivers that never want to stop at the zebra crossing, please leave your sudden urgency wherever you are.
- Overindulgence: Food and drinks, partying I have never seen so much wastage really. Naturally I go into a food comma and become a waste when I overeat. I try and eat controlled portions but it is not easy when there is a buffet. I don’t want to be the person thinking about all the food I ignored when I am hungry. What I am saying is that it would be nice to tone the celebration down a notch, eat and drink like there’s a January at the end of the celebration.
- Overspending: The sale’s are irresistible starting with black Friday and the whole Christmas shopping. It is impossible to not impulse buy at least five times when you stop by the mall to get perishables. Then we are the same people always thinking how January is the longest month. We never learn. I don’t get the point of buying a new outfit for Christmas but keep going. What do I know?
- For those that host family dinners ,brunches or lunches probably share in this pain with me. The women spend the better part of the day in the kitchen either cooking or doing the dishes and end up exhausted. By the end of the day you smell like ingredients and curry regardless of how much you soak yourself. The only strength left is meant to at least drag yourself to bed. Which brings me to the question, what is the point of merry making at the expense of someone else’s exhaustion?
I did not steal Christmas, I am not Grinch or Blacchyna. I am just saying. Enjoy what is left of your holiday.