I am back!!

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I am twice as excited as you are!                                                        Photographed by Mercy Chemutai

For the second time, I almost did not make it for the first post of the #Bloggingchallenge that I curated. It is like hosting a party, inviting everyone and then not showing up. Messed up. Right?  I say second time because the first time I proposed a blogging challenge with a couple of blogger acquaintances and only came up with one post. Out of thirty days I only managed one! What a shame and a letdown. But I am not ready to feel like that again.

 

It’s funny how I thought it would feel completely weird coming back on here. Although I have been doing all kinds of writing except for this. Work and school were so demanding  to be honest and I needed to stay sane. I thought this would feel as foreign as leaving an office or a workstation for too long. Like taking your leave days with vengeance coming back to a dusty desk.

I have spent the whole day overthinking thinking and rethinking about what to write. Something that would feel natural and straight form the heart. Something that would take me less than a day to write. You might ask yourself why anyone would take a day to come up with a string of words. As in subject, verb, adjective kind of thing.

Ever heard of writers block? Yes. It exists. In people’s minds. That’s the bullshit story we (writers) tell ourselves when we don’t want to think. I believe even Nobel peace prize winners do have a little of bad writing in them. This is the same reason why when you start writing, you probably write a lot of trash but your two followers will support you.

Being in a job that requires me to come up with content every single day of my life made me resent it at some point. Since September/October last year I didn’t want to look at my blog or even think about it because it made me feel like I had failed  and there’s no way in this world I was coming up with a post. Although the truth is, I was not failing entirely, I was doing okay in one area or another. Never all at once.

Balance is something I am struggling with and have been struggling with for a very long time. Are there people that have at least a shred of balance in their lives? Yes? And am I looking into being better at this? Hopefully. I would like to see this through to the end if it is the last thing I will do.

I cannot lie my plate is full to the extent where I have started feeling like cooking is an arduous task. Because that moment when I am standing by the sink prepping my meals I am haunted by all the work that awaits me. I just told my friends that I need someone to prepare meals for me or is start eating stones.

It is my hope that after being rusty for a few months I just might be better than when I started. Good thing about doing a challenge in February, there’s 3-4 days lesser than the other months. I will roll with the punches, roll with me. You can challenge yourself too with a friend or two for accountability purposes. The trick is not to plan, just start. Let me know also if you have been in a rut, what you are doing about it, or if you threw in the towel altogether.

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Cheer me on by commenting, sharing, liking and subscribing to this post. Definitely speaking this YouTube lingo now because I started a little channel over there. Check it out and let us engage there too.

XOX

 

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6 thoughts on “I am back!!

  1. I know that feeling oh so well.
    I’ve been struggling with the writer’s block myself. Sometimes it’s not that I don’t have what to write about, it’s procrastination (and the lazy butt syndrome) that jeopardizes my intent to write.

    I want to go on a challenge too. I share the same testimony of starting a blogging challenge and only ending up with one blog. It’s disappointing to say the least but this year, I want to write more. Be it a paragraph or two stanzas of a poem (lol. I’m not really a poetic) whatever it is that makes my brain tickle is what will make me write more.
    Say, I’m joining in on this, do we need weekly themes? I personally think it can guide our minds to craft something.

    Like

  2. Welcome on board Luopean. Isn’t it a struggle and a pain knowing what you want to do and not being able to do it because you cannot bring yourself to do it?

    I do badly with themes, very much so. But what’s the harm. Do you have any you can share? Perhaps I can explore that type of writing.

    Like

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