Have you ever practiced something and as time goes, you are sure you are becoming better at it. But each and every time there is an external force just blocking you. One way or another, you find one colossal thing standing in between your craft and your paper.
Things become so tough, you get convinced that perhaps you are not putting in enough effort so naturally what do you do? You tell yourself that perhaps you need to push much harder because even if you would like to make gravel a medium of exchange, you will need to buy it.
Routines do not quite exist in my world, so I pretty much do what is required of me until I am done most of the time. I have had rough days, sometimes it is a rough month which makes me question my choices big-time. And boy, there is nothing as bad as questioning the things you have continually done at a time when you are feeling your lowest. That shit drains the energy and soul out of you faster than superglue sticks things its not supposed to.
I have had longer days than others where I wake up so early work so hard and sleep so late yet I still feel inadequate or as if I haven’t done anything constructive by the time I go to bed. Easy things will become incredibly hard and you will wonder why you are not thriving in a space that is so easy for you to maneuver.
When God is ready to move you onto better things, you will find opposition even in the simplest of things. Including things you are really good at. Maybe you create bomb ass apps, you are a killer seamstress, best video editor, you get my point. You are really good at what you are doing but no matter how much you put in, it doesn’t show in the bank.
Do not beat yourself up when things don’t work especially when you have tried so hard at one thing. Even when you have told yourself that not every door is locked, so you push harder and harder. Sometimes when the door doesn’t open it probably isn’t yours. It is okay. Very much okay to come to terms with stressful things in your life. Acknowledge them and choose to start working towards relieving yourself of such.
Stress isn’t good for anyone or anything. Not even worth it. So don’t stress yourself trying to figure things out by yourself because you cannot do God’s job. That’s why God is God and you are His creation. Step back and allow God to help you understand what it is that you are supposed to do to move on up onto better things.