Please, mind your language.

While I might not be the most cultured human I know, I value the very basic manners in formal settings. It ranks closely to minding my own business, the delivery of work and the equivalent or higher pay for it. It is safe to say that people have not been raised by cultured humans either. While how anyone was (or was not) raised is not my place to judge, I would highly recommend that we be mannered especially in formal settings. Teach yourself something. C’mon. It’s not that hard.

Simple words like, please, thank you, excuse me, sorry, kindly and any other in those lines are words that can even avert the nuclear war if I may put it that way. It is like when a child asks for something they are prohibited to have then they say please. That word takes my guard down, in some instances. I have sworn not to give my nieces my phone because they use up all my lives/ bonuses in games or go through my pictures. Until they use please. Then they will still have my phone. They don’t know this because I don’t give them the clues. So most times I dish a calm but firm “No” and look the other way.

Even when these magic words are used in pretense, you come off as kind, reasonable, and even approachable even when you have the most unapproachable face like I do on most days. In defense of all people who have “resting bitch faces” we are not mad, or angry at anyone or even life in general. For real. We are just out here thinking about food mostly, or whatever that does not include anything criminal.

There are rude ass human beings who appear intelligent on the onset but once they portray their lack of etiquette they just lose points. Seventy to Zero real quick. I cannot accord you my respect if you are uncouth. Woe unto you single coarse men. Here is your cue to Google manners lessons and download YouTube videos that you can watch later in case before throwing texts around like you expect them to sprout the minute they hit the ground. And kindness is an attractive trait. So here is your cue, take it and run. (Actually you can come back here to thank me when it works for you. Don’t force me to participate in your wedding committee though, I can come to your wedding if you feel the need to invite me.  😉

This is something I have seen with men mostly and a few women. Why is it so hard for some people to say the magic words, excuse me, sorry or please? Swali tu.

Back to the formal setting.

I am standing by the dispenser at an office getting myself water and someone just blurts out, “hebu nichotee maji?” And turns back to their computer. “Moto,” he adds.

First of all, I do not know you like that. (This person doesn’t know my name, neither do I know his. Just a familiar face at the corridors.)

Second, you don’t pay me. (Even the people who sign my cheques have never spoken to me like that.)

Third, shame on you! (I am not your slave!!!)

Can you tell I am exasperated by this? I thought all this while standing there filling my cup. I wear my petty coat quite on most days. I wanted to fill my cup and move like I have not heard them talk to me but I thought to myself, my shoes are slippery today, I could slip and fall and this wouldn’t end with such a good punch line like I would have intended it to.

Ask me nicely bitch!

So I just corrected them, got them the hot water (that I wished I’d throw in their face for a second) then I kept it pushing. The next time someone asks me the same trust me I am walking off.

I also find it particularly rude also when someone texts like they are ordering you around. Let me tell you how I know the tone of a text: when you don’t use any of those words I have mentioned above. Let us not even start on those who walk past you and hit you by mistake but they carry on with their lives. I mean, just say excuse me, then let someone give you way. I’m super pissed off my thoughts have drifted. So this will be the end of my rant.

Bottom line, having manners is very important. I am learning to be better at this. I require kindness in my interactions. Unless we are really good friends, then we can use insults as greetings.

Please tell me I am not the only one who gets irked by these instances. If I am I promise I will be lenient with people and let it go. Perhaps teach my children better. Take control of what I can as opposed to worrying about ill-mannered humans. How do you people deal with such?

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