By Waturi Wamboye
1. Conflict is not a bad thing
There will always be conflict in relationships. Personalities contribute to this. Maybe your partner prefers to plan before they get into any projects. You on the other hand like to learn as you go. Conflict isn’t bad. However, UNRESOLVED conflict is what kills relationships. Purpose to agree to disagree and not to have hard feelings after it. Don’t let the day end with unresolved conflict.
2. Boundaries are important
All relationships need boundaries. With personal relationships it is always best to discuss them and not assume. If you do not like being hugged or touched in a certain way by the other person, you have to voice it clearly for the relationship to be upheld. When boundaries are not honoured, disrespect thrives and resentment kicks in.
3. What you say is not as important as how you say it
To say, “I’m sorry” with a gruff tone shows that you’re not really sorry. So don’t be surprised if you apologised and your relationship is still not working out. Sincerity of heart can be picked from communication undertones such as tone of voice, facial expression, eye contact. If what you will say is not true, don’t say it. Ask for time to calm down and revisit the issue when you’re sober.
4. People are more important than things
Always remember that what goes around comes around. The world is a terrible place because we use people and love things instead of the other way round. Your real character will be revealed by how you treat someone you can get nothing out of e.g. the watchman, the maid, the bus conductor
Before you speak next time remember THINK. T-is it TRUE. H-is it HELPFUL I-is it INSPIRING N-is it NECESSARY K-is it KIND? You would rather be silent and be thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt.